I am married to a wonderful man. He is incredibly smart, a hard worker, the most honest person I’ve ever met. He is a musician, writer, father and husband. All of these are so hard to find in a man these days. He has one weakness, alcohol. It has been almost 3 years since he quit drinking, with a few short relapses. They become further and further apart. He has tried quitting before but this time he has the support of his whole family. Everyone knows now which is vital to his recovery. They can’t help if they don’t know.
I don’t know what to say at times. I can’t understand how he feels. If I was an addict, or a recovering addict,I would understand but we wouldn’t be a couple. Two addicts won’t make it together, it’s a fact. I think I say the wrong thing often.
He is having a “hard time” right now. He always makes it thru. He drank to “slow” his head down, to feel normal. I think he is too smart for his own good. We have been to many doctors with no help. I know alcohol was his “self-medication” and I believe there is something a doc could prescribe to slow his head down too. He is sick of sitting in a doctor’s office and getting nowhere.
He feels that life should have gotten better with sobriety, it has, but in this present state, he can’t see or feel that. His daughters have gotten to know their Dad, they have become close. They would be devastated without him. Finances have improved drastically since the drinking days. He is in the best shape of his life and has made new friends that don’t drink or if they do, they don’t drink around him.
I have loved him for 7 years, maybe even since we met as children. I will never stop. Believe it or not, some want him to “push him off the wagon,” want him to fail and I think “rejoice” if death was the result. I hope for his daughters at least this doesn’t happen. “God” will not forget the behavior of the evil doers, it’s out of my hands. It’s not my place to take care of this hate, it’s his. I’m not hateful because of this, I just feel sorry for them. To be that miserable must be horrible.
Whatever the future may bring, I’m happy to be his wife no matter what. Marriage is the best gesture of love.
Truth Seeker 