he sleeps with a happy heart,
the man that makes me smile
the one that shares his soul with mine
children, all around me,
cozied on the couch,
this……is all I need
green, spring air,
floats thru my windows
fresh cut grass
lingers
evening crickets
soothe my head
this is my rose,
thorns along the way? a few I’m sure
this is the way it’s supposed to be
content
,
savor every day
every touch of lip
every smile across the table
every walk hand in hand
every new love string,
weaving between our hearts
savor his hand sliding down my thigh
savor his perfect body infused with mine
the weight of his love, I savor
I was doing some spring cleaning today and came across all the letters and poetry my boyfriend (now husband) wrote to me. I’ m so glad I saved it all. I love reading thru it, it’s like falling in love with him all over again.
You and I
Crossing the bridge
Looking toward each other,
Waving kindly at the overcast past,
Humming, whistling, wishing
Again gaining ground.
“Dream not, thy wake thee proper, love”
I shout, Stunning wild flowers to weep and moan,
Beside your path,
Yes.
We are true.
L.C.M.
We met as children, playing in the creek with a bridge. We had one of our wedding photos taken on that very bridge.
waves pulling us down,
resilient, we breathe the blue air
floating, relaxing, rays dance on us
refreshed, future endeavors at our fingertips
many changes, exciting, deserved
he’s cold, she’s hot
she keeps him warm
he’s tidy, she’s a mess
he takes care
he runs fast, she walks
he slows down to walk with her
he’s wound tight
she massages the tension
My husband and I are complete opposites, yes we attract, but we clash too. I have always been laid back, too laid back in my opinion. I don’t clean often, he does most of that due to his OCD. I was spoiled growing up, someone came into clean. I wonder if this is why cleaning is not “natural” to me? I’m messy in the kitchen and klutzy in general. I don’t think I will change after 40 years of being me.
I’m searching ways to help my husband with his OCD. I’m reading up on it, trying to understand it, how to deal with it well and not make it worse for him. We have sought out help in the past for other issues with no success. He is sick of waiting rooms, copays and doctors that won’t help. Who could blame him? I’m determined to succeed in helping him as he as helped me when I need him most.
I am married to a wonderful man. He is incredibly smart, a hard worker, the most honest person I’ve ever met. He is a musician, writer, father and husband. All of these are so hard to find in a man these days. He has one weakness, alcohol. It has been almost 3 years since he quit drinking, with a few short relapses. They become further and further apart. He has tried quitting before but this time he has the support of his whole family. Everyone knows now which is vital to his recovery. They can’t help if they don’t know.
I don’t know what to say at times. I can’t understand how he feels. If I was an addict, or a recovering addict,I would understand but we wouldn’t be a couple. Two addicts won’t make it together, it’s a fact. I think I say the wrong thing often.
He is having a “hard time” right now. He always makes it thru. He drank to “slow” his head down, to feel normal. I think he is too smart for his own good. We have been to many doctors with no help. I know alcohol was his “self-medication” and I believe there is something a doc could prescribe to slow his head down too. He is sick of sitting in a doctor’s office and getting nowhere.
He feels that life should have gotten better with sobriety, it has, but in this present state, he can’t see or feel that. His daughters have gotten to know their Dad, they have become close. They would be devastated without him. Finances have improved drastically since the drinking days. He is in the best shape of his life and has made new friends that don’t drink or if they do, they don’t drink around him.
I have loved him for 7 years, maybe even since we met as children. I will never stop. Believe it or not, some want him to “push him off the wagon,” want him to fail and I think “rejoice” if death was the result. I hope for his daughters at least this doesn’t happen. “God” will not forget the behavior of the evil doers, it’s out of my hands. It’s not my place to take care of this hate, it’s his. I’m not hateful because of this, I just feel sorry for them. To be that miserable must be horrible.
Whatever the future may bring, I’m happy to be his wife no matter what. Marriage is the best gesture of love.
just because…., he is kind
because he cares,
I,
in his thoughts,
as HE is in mine
I gasp.., with a smile
flutters of wings inside,
early days of us,
swim thru my heartshaped eyes
refreshing allure
sweet gesture of petals
end of the day
we meet, always
comfort our bodies,
rest our heads
my hand on your chest
dreaming next to you
awake, it is vivid and real
Is it normal to be this happy? Did it just take 40 years to get to this place? I suppose I am finally grown up now and I know what is important. I’m so “mushy” now when it comes to my family I’m almost embarrassed.
My husband and kids were playing cards at the table the other night, laughing and having a great time. I can’t believe how playing games really brings us together, there’s the “cheesy” part. I sat and watched, so happy we were altogether. My husband and I were both married before so we have the “all” the kids every other weekend and a couple of days during the week. Maybe that’s why I appreciate our time together. Our family “bonding” keeps improving since we married. It’s amazing to watch.
Yesterday my husband took them sledding, he was one of the few dads that was willing to do it too. The sun was out, it was nice and icy for sledding. After warming up we went to my Grandma’s so I could do her hair. The weather kept her in the last few days. Then off to my Dad and stepmom’s house. She is Dominican and I wanted her to cook a Dominican meal, but it’s hard to find those foods here. After a great meal, and dessert, we played “farkel” a dice game. My Dad is an alcoholic, but since he’s been with his wife, he seems to keep it under control. She takes good care of him and keeps him in check. He’s seems like a new person since knowing her. Truly happy, I believe that has stopped the crazy drinking. We spend much more time with him now, he is great to be around sober. My son in finally getting to know his Grandpa after 15 years. People can change for the better.
My husband is almost 3 years sober, so proud of him. He says he still thinks about it everyday, it sucks. He’s out running right now, if he wasn’t sober, that would not be happening. I hate that it is a struggle for him everyday, something I can’t control. I fell in love with him when he was still drinking, so I know him sober or not. I will love him no matter where he is in recovery, if he slips and falls,we are here. I can see him enjoying his daughters and they love him so much. They’ve come along way.
Truth Seeker 